As I watched the hour pass by, waiting for someone to show up to my house for a planned visit, I found myself growing more and more frustrated. This person, who I will keep anonymous since I’m not trying to put anyone on blast here, asked if this day and this time frame worked for me. I didn’t come up with the plan, they did! Yet, here I was and here they weren’t. I tried to keep it cool, give them the benefit of the doubt. It wasn’t a set in stone time, it’s fine. But when it had finally been an hour past the scheduled time, I gave in and sent a text. I needed to make dinner very soon, given that we’re now on a much stricter schedule since my oldest has started Kindergarten.
“Were you still planning on coming, or….?” I texted, trailing off to hopefully seem laid back.
Ten minutes passed. Then, finally, “Got called in to work sorry.”
Life happens. This, I understand. I’ve had to back out of plenty of plans for various reasons. What bothered me, though, was the inconsideration in not even telling me the plans were canceled, not even an hour after the scheduled time. I put off cooking dinner for my and my children’s hungry selves for this person. Beyond that, even, I was frustrated because I had told my kids. This person happens to be a family member and the visit wasn’t for me to have some grown up conversation, it was for them to see my children, who they haven’t seen in several months. My kids were excited and then I had to pop the bubble that this family member wasn’t coming and didn’t tell me. Thankfully, they were fine, but, I mean, to be honest, they’re somewhat used to this.
I found myself not just frustrated, but downright angry. Not violent rage angry or anything, but angry enough to want to say something. I sent another text calmly explaining that I should have been told, especially when the time was confirmed the night before. Surely, this person had 30 seconds to send me a brief message canceling. But they didn’t. They apologized and admitted they should have called. The response isn’t why I’m writing this, though.
After I sent my “rant” sounding message, I felt almost guilty. I felt as though everyone probably thought I was so crazy for being bent out of shape over someone not showing up to see my kids. This isn’t the first time I’ve been upset about someone not following through, even if I hadn’t always said something. Surely, I was just overthinking this all. Surely, I was just being crazy.
The more I thought, and still think, about it, though, I’m not crazy. My time is valuable. My children’s time is valuable. My children’s feelings are valuable. We are worth something. We are worth seeing, we are worth being told if plans are canceled. It’s not crazy to know your worth.
I’ve been sitting here feeling like I was in the wrong simply for wanting to be treated with respect. For wanting to be told within a reasonable time that plans weren’t happening. Why is it that we think we have to just sit back and accept whatever is thrown at us, lest we appear “crazy?”
I’m not one to promote lingering on negativity, so I know I should let this go to an extent. I will. I’m not going to be angry forever over canceled plans. However, I do think it’s so important to know that you’re allowed to stand up for your time. Your allowed to tell someone they didn’t treat you with the respect you deserve, even in small situations. It’s not crazy. It’s knowing your worth, and you are worth something. But you know what is crazy? Thinking it’s okay to not show someone simple respect such as letting someone know you can’t make it.
Hello! I'm Lindsey. I'm a writer with a ton of random thoughts bouncing around in my head. So I share them here in hopes that they reach others with these thoughts.