We all have our fair share of “you can't make this shit up” stories, and when you find someone with as many as you, you may find yourself drawn to them. But it's worth noting that sometimes that shit can be made up, or at least twisted in favor of the narrator. When every single life story you hear from someone ends the same way with someone else turning out to be a villain, leaving them hurt and betrayed, take that as a red flag , not a sympathetic notion.
Beware those who are constantly victims. Be aware of who you surround yourself anyways, but if you find yourself accidentally enthralled with an Always-Victim, learn to be okay with the outcome of being yet another villain of their repertoire.
You can be the best friend to them. You can be nice, honest (even when it's not what they want to hear), helpful, and have the best time together. But once you inevitably fall off of the pedestal they lifted you on by simply standing up for yourself and setting necessary boundaries, you'll instantly become “one of them,” the others who are so horrible to the Always-Victim. Because that's the thing—in their narrative, they cannot be wrong. I don't think it's necessarily intentional, though maybe it is, but it hurts regardless. It'll hurt when you hear the things being said about you, knowing you can't defend yourself because while they play like you left, it's actually they who did. It'll hurt and leave you feeling disappointed to know that all of your mutual friends fall for their version. It'll make you want to scream the truth out, to clear the air so you can move on once and for all. But it's of no use. They can't hear you. If they heard you, really truly heard you, that would hold them accountable. That would be admitting that all parties are flawed, because we're only human. And that would make them not the victim in the story.
Always-Victims become a negative energy cyclone, threatening to pull in anyone who dares come near. Stay. Away. I know, it's hard to recognize it, but just keep your eyes and ears open for those red flags and believe them. And if you fall for it, know that it's okay. It happens to us all, especially those like me who are people-pleasers who tend to see the good in others to a fault. But when that world crashes down, and the dust starts to settle, look around you and see who's there:
The Invaluable Friend. These are the friends who are truly there for you, always. They know the truth because they know you for who you really are, not what anyone else says about you. You can empathize with each other over the Always-Victims you've both encountered in life, and allow each other to vent out the frustration of everyone seeming fooled by it. They gently correct you when you're making a mistake, and welcome the same from you. But they also let you indulge your more dramatic side privately with them so you don't make a fool of yourself in public. These are the friends you never have issues with, even through your differences. You'll grow together, even when your life stories are oh so different. These are the true friends you should surround yourself with. These are your very best friends.
What it all boils down to is this: guard your heart, don't give Always-Victims your energy, and cherish your Invaluable Friends.
Two of my Invaluable Friends, Anna and Blake, who have been here with me through the start of a new chapter in life as my dust settles. They surely aren't my only Invaluable Friends, but they've been incredibly important.
Hello! I'm Lindsey. I'm a writer with a ton of random thoughts bouncing around in my head. So I share them here in hopes that they reach others with these thoughts.